


Like Toy Soldiers

by sulietsexual



Category: Animorphs (TV), Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8428570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sulietsexual/pseuds/sulietsexual
Summary: Series of drabbles based off Table Writing Prompts on LiveJournal. Mostly angst, with a little fluff thrown in. Shared POV, including family members of the Animorphs.  Updated.





	1. Prompt #1 – Introduction

Jake remembered that the day had been sweltering, the classroom hot, uncomfortable, confined. Sweat slowly dripped down his neck, as he listened with wry amusement to Marco loudly suggesting to whichever poor girl he was sitting next to that it was far too hot for her to remain fully clothed. Flies buzzed around his head as the teacher announced that they needed to find a lab partner. 

“Hey Jake.”

He looked up to find his cousin standing in a direct ray of sunlight, which gave her an unsettling, otherworldly glow. She smiled wickedly, almost like she was entertaining a private joke. He had a sinking feeling he was the punchline.

It was then that he spied the girl half-hidden behind his cousin. The girl he’d noticed all year. Beautiful dark skin, messy, carelessly pulled back black hair and dirt-stained overalls, which she seemed to favour. Something in his chest fluttered wildly and he noticed Rachel’s smile grow even more amused.

“Cousin Jake,” she said mockingly. “Meet Cassie. She needs a lab partner.”

Cassie smiled in embarrassment, the gesture transforming her already beautiful face, and Jake knew his life was never going to be the same.


	2. Prompt #2 – Complicated

Occasionally, when the sun was low and the day smelled sweet and Rachel’s fingers were tangled in his hair and her lips were pressed against his, Tobias could pretend things were simple.

He could pretend that he was just a boy and she was just a girl and whatever there was between them was easy and painless. That there was no war and no nightmares, that he hadn’t seen blood dripping from her teeth or felt the tear of flesh beneath his own talons. That the war hadn’t trapped him between two worlds, that it wasn’t causing her to drift further and further away from him, towards darkness, into madness. That she didn’t wish for more of him than he could give her, that she didn’t ask him to give up a part of himself for her. That he didn’t want to.

Occasionally, when the sun had set and Rachel’s head was on his chest and he could stroke the cascades of golden hair and feel the warmth of her body against his, Tobias could pretend that their love wasn’t headed for tragedy.


	3. Prompt #3 – Making History

Rachel could feel the grizzly weakening. The snake, Tom, the Yeerk inside his brain attacked again and again, striking her face so the venom hit her from a dozen different points. She could hear an animal roaring but it sounded muffled, far away. It hurt her throat.

She wondered if any of this would make a difference. If anything she did would make a difference. If people would remember her, remember Tom. If this final battle would be recorded, if children would learn about it, if generations to come would know who she had been. Would they whisper her name in reverent tones or say it with disgust as they teamed it with words like bloodthirsty, mad and killer? Would she be remembered as a hero or as a villain?

The snake struck again, but she couldn’t see from where. She heard someone call her name, his voice full of grief. She had to hold on, she had to finish this. She needed to make this final move, this final battle worth it. To make sure it was remembered. To make sure it mattered. To make sure she mattered.

She felt her claw sink into the scaly, writhing flesh of the snake. Her mouth opened and she heard the scream from the Yeerk as it used Tom’s voice, begging Jake to save it.

She bit down on the snake.


	4. Prompt #4 – Rivalry

His parents never took down the trophy wall after the war. All his brother’s awards still hung on the family room wall, his basketball trophies still crowded the shelves below, the one part of the room his mother cleaned two, three, four times a day. Their shine had dimmed over time. Their significance never would.

Jake often stood in front of this shrine to his brother, stared at the trophies for hours, and remembered how envious he had been. How he had wished to be like his brother, to _be_ his brother.

So many years spent trying to emulate Tom. So many years trying not to show how competitive he felt towards him. He wanted to know what it was like to have the world adore you, admire you, look up to you. To never know the feeling of discontentment, the feeling that you would never measure up, never be as good, as fast, as strong. To be the oldest, the first, the best.

Now he knew. Now he was the first and only. Now there was no one to be jealous of, no one to compete with.

Now he was alone.


	5. Prompt #5 – Unbreakable

Most days Cassie could smile.

She could smile and make conversation and go through the motions of being happy. On the days she played the part well enough, it sometimes felt like she was happy. She moved, worked, filled her days with meetings and emails and legislation. She attended classes and raised her hand and answered inane questions about animals she knew better than anyone ever could. She smiled and spoke words she barely heard and forced herself through the hours, refusing to give up.

But two years was a long time. She felt every day, every hour, every minute move at the most achingly slow pace, all the time wondering if she would hear from them. If they were safe. If they were still out there, searching. If they would ever come back. If he would ever come back.

Most days Cassie could smile. She could smile and kiss her parents and let her boyfriend wrap her in his arms and go through the motions of being happy. And on the days she played the part well enough, it sometimes felt like she was happy.


	6. Prompt #6 – Obsession

Weeks later, Tobias could still vividly recall the crunch of his bones as they broke, the pain in his beak as it shattered, the tear of his feathers as they were ripped from his wings, and the insane, inhuman laughter of the Yeerk and the girl she possessed as they hit the button again and again.

Her face haunted his dreams, her voice filled his nightmares. He would have woken screaming if he had a human voice. She followed him everywhere. He heard her laughing at him at every corner. He couldn't go far enough to escape her. He flew for hours, faster and further than was wise, and then collapsed, exhausted, forced to spend the night in unfamiliar branches, on dangerous perches. Yet his mind still conjured up her face, her beautiful, cold, not-quite-human features filling his thoughts. Her eyes bored into his brain. She looked so much like Rachel.

He would find her. He swore to himself he would find her. One day, they would meet again. He closed his eyes and dreamed of Taylor and woke with Rachel's name on his lips.


	7. Prompt #7 Eternity

Marco had never understood what people meant when they said time stood still. Never comprehended what it meant to have everything, including time itself, stop. How could a minute last forever? But as he watched blonde hair emerge from brown fur, saw delicate fingers grow from deadly claws and human features replace a fierce muzzle, he understood.

She was going to die. Jake had sent her to die. And suddenly, time slowed.

She was looking at them. She smiled. She was beautiful and terrifying and he wished more than anything that he didn’t fear her as much as he did. Everything he wished he could have said to her hung in the air, wordless, silent. She was going to die. She was crazy and reckless and she had always scared him senseless, because how could one person be so much.

“I love you.”

She wasn’t speaking to him but he closed his eyes and pretended that in another lifetime she would have.

He saw the polar bear loom over her and time ceased to exist. Marco watched and waited, feeling like the moment would never end, knowing that when it did, she would end too.

And he finally understood.


	8. Prompt #8 – Gateway

As he heard the Yeerk in his brain scream using his voice and saw his beautiful cousin, transformed into a huge, unstoppable killing machine, advance towards him, Tom was surprised that his final thoughts weren’t of his loyal little brother or his loving but somewhat clueless parents or even of his own, pitiful life.

They were of a girl.

A pretty girl, a cute girl, a girl who had made his heart flutter and his eyes glaze over. A girl who had danced away in front of him, her laughter trailing the hallways of their school, a girl whose eyes teased out something inside of him he hadn’t felt stir before. A girl who had taken his hand and led him to his first meeting. A girl who had disappeared behind locked doors, where he should not have followed. A girl who was no longer a girl, but a slave, trapped in her own mind.

He pictured the girl, pictured her smiling, laughing, beckoning, opening the door for him to come through, never letting him know there was no way back to the world he used to know.


	9. Prompt #9 – Death

Shrieks echoed down the hallway, followed by the sound of tiny feet running across the floors. Naomi paused at the door to the living room to peek in.

Rachel stood atop a fort made from their up-ended dining table. Her hair billowed around her shoulders, a cape made from bedsheets cascading down her back, eyes wild as she fought off the imaginary foe attacking her and her sisters. Little Jordan mimicked her older sister’s stance, as toddler Sarah gurgled from her spot on the floor, gleefully bouncing up and down as her eldest sister lunged towards her invisible foe.

“Run, Jordan!” Rachel yelled, emphatically brandishing the broom in her hand. “I’ll fight off the aliens so you guys can escape!”

As Rachel leaped from her fort towards her unseen opponent and fell to the ground, apparently mortally wounded, Naomi felt an ominous shiver pass through her body, and she hurried forward to lift her eldest child’s body from the floor.


	10. Prompt #10 – Opportunities

“Marco, no.”

If he never heard those words come out of Jake’s mouth again, it would be too soon.

“Oh, come on, oh fearless leader,” Marco replied. “We are going to miss our window here. We only have about thirty more minutes in which we can do this.”

“We?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to come with me on this little adventure. You know you’re dying to.”

“Marco. We were given this technology to fight a highly advanced race of aliens. We are supposed to use morphing with caution and discretion. We’re supposed to be fulfilling Elfangor’s dying wish. And you want to morph rats of all things … to spy on the girls’ locker room?”


	11. Prompt #11 – 33%

As far back as Jordan could remember, she had thought of herself and her sisters as three parts of one whole.

It was always her, Sarah and Rachel, always together, always the three of them. Each one a third of a person, but together, a force to be reckoned with. She drew strength from her older sister, imitating Rachel’s bossy ways, trying to emulate her sister’s tough demeanor. She drew inspiration from her younger sister, constantly watching Sarah, who had always been so sure of who she was, even as a child. Jordan always pictured the three of them together, crawling through forts Rachel built out of old cardboard boxes, stockinged feet pattering downstairs Christmas morning, riding in the backseat of the car during summer vacation, legs sticking to vinyl seats, complaining in the heat. Always her, Sarah and Rachel.

As far back as Jordan could remember, she had thought of herself and her sisters as three parts of one whole. And she didn’t know how to be whole again, now that one of those parts was gone.


	12. Prompt #12 – Colors

Jake was blue, dark, deep blue, calming, solid, dependable. A leader. Still waters which ran far deeper than could be imagined, steadfast and strong and resilient. His line was steady, unbroken, rich, full.

Rachel was red, bright, vibrant, blood and violence, beauty and despair. A fire destined to burn out too soon, a rage which could not be contained. A line of unmatched intensity, which pulsated, moved and vibrated.

Marco was blinding silver, sleek and shining. A mind which worked differently, never switched off, constantly thinking, always ticking. Fluid and adaptable, Marco's line was brilliant in its shine.

Tobias was clear, sky blue, white threads woven through. The only line with two hues. Free yet trapped, happy yet wanting, two beings existing as one. His line was soft, unwavering, subtle in its beauty.

Cassie was deep, earthy green, rich and grounded. A heart which felt too much, hands that were too gentle, connected to everything in such a way that she could manipulate anything at her fingertips. Cassie's line was deep and still, strong through its steadiness.

Aximili was purple, steadfast, arrogant, imperialistic. Rich in thought, strong in body. Loyal, yet not knowing where his loyalty should lie. A line which constantly shifted and changed, yet never lost its vibrancy.

The Ellimist saw them all, watched their lines of fate unfold before him, knowing what was yet to come, ashamed in the knowledge that he could do little to alter events. He watched their lines entwine with one another, connecting and growing and changing, and he knew that one day soon, one of those lines would disappear forever.


	13. Prompt #13 – Running Away

His knapsack was packed. He remembered to grab his comic books. He had exactly sixty-seven dollars and thirty-two cents tucked carefully into his shoe. He was ready. 

Who would want to stay in this house anyway? A graveyard of uncleaned dishes, broken machines, clothes which barely fit and a fridge more decorative than functional. A place devoid of life, of warmth, of hope. A home with a father who was barely more than a ghost. A home without a mother.

Everything was ready. He could go. He'd been thinking about this for weeks.

Yet his feet wouldn't move. His mind wouldn't work. He couldn't bring himself to get up off his bed.

A sob echoed from the next room.

Marco sighed and crossed to his bureau, as he started to unpack his belongings.


	14. Prompt #14 – Judgment

Eventually, Naomi came to loathe all public outings.

She could see the looks in the eyes of every stranger who passed and recognised her. The mother in the grocery store, the father in the post office, the grandmother at the drycleaners. Their stares followed her, their eyes full of unspoken accusations. How could she be alive, how could she be surviving, how could she be here when her eldest daughter’s body was nothing but ashes.

Once Naomi had held her head high, coldly staring down anyone who dared challenge her with their pointed looks. It was a trait her eldest daughter had inherited.

Now her daughter was gone and Naomi could no longer bring herself to meet the eyes of the parents who looked at her with scorn and derision, every one of them silently asking the same question that haunted her dreams.

_Why weren’t you there to protect her?_


	15. Prompt #15 - Seeking Solace

She sought sleep, but sleep refused to come. Every time she closed her eyes, she heard David’s voice, the pitiful, broken pleading. _No, you can’t do this. No, please, please, have mercy. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me here._

Rachel tumbled out of bed and shed her bedclothes. Minutes later, a bald eagle soared out her window.

She flew without direction, unsure of her destination. She passed the houses of those she knew and loved, contemplated landing, yet the cold bricks of Jake’s house brought with them feelings of rage and hatred, the crumbling stone of Marco’s home brought indifference and apathy, and the earthy wood of Cassie’s barn brought an anger so strong and violent that it threatened to engulf her entire being.

They had all been there. They had stood next to her and played their parts of the charade and meticulously executed the bloodless trap, and then they had left her. Left her alone to face the pleads and screams and cries of the tiny, helpless rat they left behind. Left her alone to face the horror, and thought of her as a monster, because she could. 

No, it was not her friends whom she sought.

Without realising, Rachel found herself at her destination. She flew in, low and and quiet, and landed softly next to Tobias.


	16. Prompt #16 - Excuses

Hours after the fugue ended, Jake contemplated quitting. He thought of his brother, his parents, himself. He thought of the terror of being infested and the paralyzing feeling of another being invading his body. He thought of the life he knew before, and longed to return.

Days after trapping David, Rachel could still hear his pleas. She sat alone in her room, and the thought of walking away flitted through her dark, turbulent thoughts. She thought of the monster she felt stirring inside, of the thrill of violence which scared and excited her too much. She thought of the carefree, young mallrat she used to be, and longed to know her again.

Minutes after watching the Andalite meet his horrifying death, Marco wanted to run. He thought of his father, broken and alone, grieving a woman long gone. He thought of himself, of his own survival, of how truly young he was. He thought of the life ahead of him, and longed to experience everything it had to offer.

Weeks after the truth about his father was revealed, Tobias felt like breaking. He thought of the life he could have had, of the mother who didn’t know him, of the wasted years of his life longing for parents he never knew, as thoughts of flying off into the distance and never returning floated through his mind. He thought of the sacrifices he had made, of the girl he couldn’t be with, and he longed for the simplicity of choosing just one life.

Cassie never let go of the shame of being the only one to truly walk away. She never forgot the disappointment, the anger, the disgust which emanated from her friends. But she thought of the bloodshed and the violence, of the horror and destruction, of her friends who were turning themselves into people she no longer recognised. And she wondered if maybe her mistake wasn’t in walking away, but in returning.


	17. Prompt #17 - Vengeance

David dreamed in red.

He dreamed of rage so intense it turned the world crimson. He dreamed of devastation so great it brought everyone to their knees. He dreamed of blood running through his fingers, of bones breaking under his hands, of flesh torn by claws and bodies ripped apart by teeth.

He dreamed of a girl.

He dreamed of ways to destroy her, slowly, deliberately, listening to her screams, hearing her pleads as she perished. He dreamed of feeling her neck snap in his hands, of feeling the life drain from her body. He dreamed of the power he would have over her, and tasted the tears she would shed for him.

David dreamed in red and woke with screams on his lips and rage burning in his heart.


	18. Prompt #18 - Love

Ax had never experienced such a feeling. 

The warmth that flooded through his chest, the overwhelming emotion that coursed through his being. He savoured the sensation, the deep, rich feelings which infused his mind and heart.

He had never known he could feel this way. Never known that such happiness and contentment and excitement and indulgence could come from one such thing.

His human fingers fumbled clumsily in anticipation, as his lips parted, ready for the first, delicious taste.

The icing of the cinnamon bun splattered all over his face, as Ax savoured the stickly sweet bite.


	19. Prompt #19 - Tears

Jake never cried at home. His house was invaded, infested, unsafe. Crying at home was a risk he couldn’t afford to take. Jake cried at school, when the pressure of leading became too overwhelming, when the memory of being infested overtook him, when he thought of Tom, trapped inside his own body. He closed the door to the tiny janitor’s closet, bit down on his clenched knuckles and cried in silent, heaving sobs.

Rachel never cried at home. Rachel never cried in front of her sisters. Rachel never cried in front of anyone. Rachel cried when she was alone. She walked the beaches near her house and remembered the screams of her fallen enemies, looked into her own soul and saw a monster staring back, and she ducked her head and cried in ragged, heavy breaths.

Marco never cried at home. Home was where he needed to be strong. Home was where his father cried. Marco ducked down deserted alleyways and behind hidden dumpsters, berated himself for his weakness, and thought of his mother, trapped and alone, and he allowed himself a minute to cry silently and feel like a child again.

Cassie never cried at home. Her parents were happy, content and entirely too observant not to notice their daughter crying every day. Cassie ran across the fields outside her house, settled on the edge of the forest, and thought of the violence which surrounded her. She heard the screams of the hosts down in the Yeerk Pool, and she wrapped her arms around her shaking body, and cried in soft, whimpering sobs.

Tobias never cried. He thought of the father he never had, the mother who didn’t know him, the girl he longed to be with. He thought of his human life and the life he now led. Sadness settled on his chest and became a weight he carried with him. The first time Tobias cried was when he watched the girl he loved die.


	20. Prompt #20 - My Inspiration

Jordan kept the photo in the bottom of her bedside drawer, faded and cracked after all this time.

The world had moved on. Monuments were built. Stories became legend. The Animorphs turned into symbols. And everywhere she went, Jordan was plagued with questions. Strangers stopped her in the street. Children stared at her. She avoided their looks, ran with her head down, dodged and weaved through the crowds and ran home and reached for the handle of her bottom drawer.

Rachel smiled out at her, proud, confident, brave. Everything Jordan wished she could be. Everything she had ever wanted to be. Everything she wasn’t.

Jordan kept the photo in her drawer, faded and cracked, and on the days she felt she couldn’t go on, she took the photo out and drew strength from her sister.


End file.
